The Caves of Androzani | Sophisticated Idiots

Davison fans may want to look away now. You’re not going to like Sophisticated Idiots.

Caves is routinely held up as a tour de force, the standout story in an otherwise limp tenure for the boy vet prodigy.

Please don't douse us in poisonous goo, but for us, it doesn't quite live up to the hype.

Don't get us wrong, Caves is certainly a quality story.

It’s just that its reputation has been milked over the years like a queen bat in her fibreglass cave set.

We reckon if you pop on any* Hartnell serial (*alright, best avoid those whose titles include Web, Reign or Sensor) and then watch Caves, the viewathon (Whoathon?) will prove that:

1. Yes, Pete's farewell is a welcome return to form that's been sorely lacking for a few years.

2. It's an above-average story – yet one that's not competing at the very top of the league.

It’s actually rather sad that this level of effort from the writers, production team, director and actors has been missing for so long.

In the 60s and most of the 70s, everyone invariably brought their A-game, motivated to take bold creative risks by the endless opportunities of a show that could go anywhere in any time.

When the 80s kicked in the team settled into their Lazyboy armchair and waited in their slippers for the 90s, no doubt with a big 30th anniversary party in 1993 in their sights. Oops.

Caves is elevated above much of the Davison era by some quite simple things.

The dimmer switch has finally been turned down, providing some refreshing gloom and eeriness after the 100-watt bulb saturation of the past few seasons.

Meanwhile, the grittier tone adopted throughout is most welcome. Again, it’s nothing revolutionary, merely a case of getting back to basics.

Doctor Who is at its best when it takes itself seriously, otherwise it can tumble into pantomime territory.

Caves is not playing for cheap laughs or trying to boost its flagging ratings with gimmicks like child-friendly shiny robots or attracting the dads with Nicola Bryant in a bikini.

As a result, there's a lovely older-school Who feel to The Caves of Androzani.

It fuses the locals’ political dispute melodrama done so well in a Hartnell story with the ‘planet rich with a unique natural resource’ trope of Pertwee and Tommy B.

There’s even a hint of a murky Troughton-esque base under siege claustrophobia-fest.

It’s like a greatest hits package in tone, if not quite in execution. (Bat) Queen’s Greatest Hits II, if you will. We’ll reserve the distinction of their Greatest Hits I album for the Five Doctors.

Caves succeeds in sticking in the memory for a couple of reasons.

The gimp suit provides some iconic styling which is handy for marketing purposes, while of course this is also a regeneration story. More on this later.

An honourable mention also goes to the cliffhanger in Episode Three, which gives Davison’s Doctor the chance to be... Genuinely Heroic.

Never has his sinus-y, panic-stricken performance been a better fit as he plays chicken with a planet while at a spaceship’s controls.

His companion's Peri-lous condition has ignited a determination in Five to stand up and be counted. It beggars belief that it’s taken him until his penultimate episode to finally take charge of his titular show, but hey-ho.

It’s a shame for Peri’s character that she puts her foot in it – literally – and contrives to kill the Doctor the moment they land on the planet.

It’s only been 81 minutes since she met him in the previous story and her first meaningful contribution here is to sign his death warrant by slipping down a plastic rock.

The Doctor’s relationship with Peri is really promising, so the fact it’s so quickly cut short is a shame. Doc 5 notoriously had to endure a TARDIS brimming with characters he disliked. It created an atmosphere akin to shaking bees in a jar.

Pairing him with just one companion – especially a strong female buddy – could have been a great foil for Davison’s more thoughtful, less outwardly confident Doctor.

But we’ll never know. Peri offs him in less time than it takes to nip out for some upside-down mammal milk.

Speaking of which, the Doctor’s sacrificial adventure to get the Dairy MacGuffin should be an ordeal – a gripping, desperate journey with numerous obstacles for him to overcome (which The Five Doctors did so well, and even Death to the Daleks’ terrifying floor tiles offered Pertwee a challenge).

The ante in such a scenario here would have been spectacularly upped by the very real ticking clock of his expiring hearts.

But it feels like the budget has also expired so instead they’ve shoved a terrible rubber monster in his way and made him crawl up a slight gradient across a matte painting. And that’s it.

Imagine if Indy in Raiders didn’t have to leap a death pit or outrun a boulder, and instead just slipped the golden statuette under his jacket and stepped out into the jungle. Underwhelming wouldn’t be the word.

The script went to considerable lengths to set up the dangers lurking in the caves but they just evaporate.

The cave monster is supposed to be an insurmountable foe, but is ultimately revealed to be nothing more than Ross Geller’s Holiday Armadillo. The Bat Queen doesn’t even object to him draining her teat. Which is an uncomfortable sentence to write.

This all brings us to the main highlight: the regeneration.

These days there’s a contractual obligation to drown the audience in sentimental companion flashbacks as a Doc croaks it.

But in Caves it was new. Groundbreaking, even. And it’s damn effective.

It’s not even ruined by Anthony Gurning Ainley or Adric’s bemused little face popping up, here both serving as a welcome reminder that this incarnation of the Doctor at least made it beyond his nadir.

In fact, we’d go so far as saying it’s the best regeneration of the lot.

This one is steeped in emotion and is all the stronger for having been set up early in the story. The audience has known for three episodes that the Doctor was dying so when the moment does come it packs an emotional weight that's entirely earned.

It’s also important that the effects are kept to a minimum as Davison transforms into – deep breath, everyone – Colin Baker.

Take note, Modern Who producers: the overwrought Tinker Bell golden magic dust shower nonsense of the 21st century hides all the real drama of a regeneration.

Less is definitely more. Nobody knew it at the time (not even Michael Grade) but there would never be a proper regeneration again *sniff*.

Caves also boasts the best cause of regeneration in Classic Who.

The agony of a poisoning promises a slow death which ratchets up the tension throughout the story, although truth be told the competition isn’t great, considering we’re up against such fare as Six injured in an Atari FX space battle, Two having some 60s psychedelia dance around his head and One settling down for a nap off-screen.

We have mixed feelings about the End of Davison.

He's carried the burden of the role for three years and has always had the demeanour of a man lugging around the weight of the universe.

He’s never looked like he’s enjoying himself, apart from his stint at the crease in Black Orchid. So there’s something quite cathartic about him finally being put out of his misery.

All in all, The Caves of Androzani is a strong entry in the show.

But let’s not get carried away. It’s easy to retrospectively romanticise it because of the depressing knowledge of the mess to come – both on and off screen.

Caves undoubtedly has its moments, but the fact it's held in such lofty esteem probably reinforces how much the show was struggling at this point.

Still, the new guy who pops up at the end looks like he means business. Can’t wait to see how he turns out…

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