​This one gets a fair bit of flak.

 

Yes, its pacing is a little bizarre and it was a kick in the white hairy polystyrene nuts to be introduced to the garish brightly-lit space corridors that would become a depressing hallmark of the 80s.

 

But it’s never anything other than entertaining and if you’re going to rip off another story then at least steal one as brilliant as Fantastic Voyage. The ‘journey inside your own body’ concept feels so appropriately Doctor Who.

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The Invisible Enemy is probably best known for being K9’s debut. We’re watching these out of order and aside from his Five Doctors cameo and seeing him hastily carried off-screen in Destiny of the Daleks, this was our first experience of the metallic fella.

 

We’re guessing he’ll become incredibly irritating (there are definite C-3PO vibes) but here, he earns his place by channelling R2-D2 a few weeks before the sci-fi universe is transformed forever by the arrival of a certain Mr Lucas’s flick. In this story, K9 is effective and actually quite endearing. The Doctor certainly has more warmth for him than he does for Leela. Understandable.

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We have a problem with Leela. Of course, it would have been nigh-on impossible for any successor to match the heights of Sarah Jane but the chemistry between her and the Doctor is as flat as the glossy studio floors half-heartedly dressed for exterior scenes.

 

In fairness, of the few serials we’ve seen featuring this pairing, the Doctor and Leela click more in this one but that doesn’t stop the Doctor being uncomfortably rude to her. In fact, pretty much every character gets in on the act, with her lack of intelligence being a repeated source of scorn. K9 is the exception, acting as the therapy dog to the bullied child.

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Leela at least has a bit more to do here than just looking wide-eyed in confusion and inviting exposition. Her relentless thirst for violence is ridiculous but fun (she’s basically a human Sontaran) and the eventual successful plan to save the day is hers. Not bad for a thicko, eh?

 

The fact that the Doctor nicks her idea and then bamboozles her into being pleased about it is priceless.

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Five stories into Leela’s TARDIS life, it’s difficult not to question why she is still wearing her skimpy loin cloth garb, especially when the Doctor is swaddled in several woollen layers and a gargantuan scarf. It’s weird and none too subtle. At least the later gratuitous sex object Peri is allowed to dip into the on-board wardrobe.

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On the subject of questionable outfits, we can’t let the fragile lobster villain pass without mention. The creature being helped along the corridor like an elderly man with his carers is perhaps the most humiliating sight to befall any baddie until the Master dons his racist Time-Flight clay mask. You can almost see one of the carers carrying his colostomy bag.

 

The aesthetic is not helped by the fact the crustacean costume is less intimidating than the one worn by Emma Thompson’s kid for the Love Actually nativity.

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Confession time: we frequently zone out watching Doctor Who to plunge down rabbit holes of hypothesising about how certain unfathomable decisions were taken. Yeah, we know the usual excuses: budget cuts, creative differences, mad deadlines, alcoholism etcetera etcetera… but whoever green-lit the sparkling sequins liberally Pritt-Sticked to the faces of those under the Big Bad’s spell should be miniaturised and forced through someone’s tear duct.

 

The design feels like it belongs on another show. A decidedly more terrible show. We haven’t arrived at the Davison era yet but these sequins offer a horrifying premonition of the production standards to come.

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The result here is to achieve the bizarre dual problem of not only looking cheap but, incredibly, managing to undermine the entire premise of the story: an invisible enemy is somewhat exposed if its disciples are forced to parade around like pilled-up Emperor Penguins in Starlight Express cosplay.

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Still, the costume department can hold their heads higher than the guys in post-production tasked with overlaying laser beams onto the shootout scenes. They’ve been slapped on the screen in the vague vicinity of the on-screen weapons with all the care of a team rushing out the door to the pub.

 

The imminent arrival of Lucasfilm’s game-changing behemoth is about to put such shoddy TV effects into painfully sharp focus.

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All this said, The Invisible Enemy is great fun. The Good Professor – who inexplicably gives away his dog in the last scene – gives a strong performance and the concept of the hypnosis-virus-pandemic threat is pretty cool, as is the Fantastic Voyage into Tom Baker, even though these scenes felt needlessly rushed (a shame given the sets here were pretty decent).

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Suffice to say, Tom Baker holds this whole thing together. While he’s clearly coasting on this one – he actually stumbles over a line, which is charmingly Hartnell-esque – even Tom operating at 75% knocks spots off most of the other Doctors.

 

He gets his wonderful teeth around some prime technobabble and it’s impossible not to love the moment when he races back into the TARDIS and leaves Leela and K9 behind. Few would blame him if he hadn’t returned for them.

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Baker doesn’t try especially hard here to hide the fact he’s still pissed the producers wouldn’t let him continue with his Deadly Assassin one-man show and that they’re rubbing salt in the wound by burdening him with a RADA-trained savage and a mechanical mutt.

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He should enjoy it while it lasts. Adric is only three years away.

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