The Tenth Planet | Sophisticated Idiots

The Tenth Planet is THE MOST IMPORTANT story in the series. If you disagree, then we don’t like your face. Or your hair.

Other serials, of course, could reasonably launch a rival bid for that Caps Lock honour:

An Unearthly Child – kick-starting the whole thing
The Daleks – cementing its pop culture mega-legacy
The Three Doctors – proving that multi-Doctor stories can work
Earthshock – showing that companions are never safe (shame on you if you thought we’d say ridding us of Adric was series-defining).

But all these claims would be dismissed out of hand.

For without regenerations, this curious little sci-fi show would’ve been done and dusted in 1966. Prompting 60-plus years of hurt, eh?

We all know that long-standing series can’t rely on one particular frontman (even Tom Cruise won’t get stunt insurance one day). At this stage in the swinging decade, that other British screen phenomenon, Bond, is about to learn the same lesson.

Frankly, Doctor Who bigwigs pulled off an absolute rollicking masterstroke by a) having the gumption to switch the lead actor, and b) making the handover of power a major part of the show.

Whereas the boys at Eon are reduced to trying to kid us Lazenby has always been 007, over at Who Towers they’ve invented a concept that’s not just a great hook for the audience, it gives the programme a licence to keep going forever.

Or until the creative juices stop flowing in about 1982 anyway.

In an observation that’s as old as Hartnell / time itself, this is a weak story for the Guv’nor to bow out on. It’s little more than a vehicle for a Shouty American to constantly remind us his relationship with his son is so strained he refuses to use his name.

But there’s little point us wasting our time jabbering on about anything else in The Tenth Planet except for the two big ones (settle down, Tito, it's not what you think):

1. The Cybermen

It’s impossible to avoid the crushing reality that their voices have been created by Fisher Price. Without subtitles we’d be utterly lost.

But this shouldn’t detract from the terrifying physical presence the Cybermen bring in their debut.

Yes, their face stockings are a titchy bit Tooth Fairy from Manhunter, but if anything, this adds to their intimidating aura.

Much of the impact of the Cybermen lies in the real-world believability of their backstory.

Boffins on Earth are never gonna create a villainous chef out of liquorice. Or Yeti robots. But we can imagine Elon experimenting with extending human life by using metallic parts.

That’s what’s scary about the Cybermen. Conceivably, they could happen.

And our first ever glimpse of Kit Pedler’s bad boys = the very definition of creepy. They’re calmly striding through the snow, silent and undeterred. Fingers crossed the Cybermen stay this mysterious over the next 20 or so years.

Oh, wait, it’s not even four minutes before they hop aboard the absurd train (final destination, Windsor in 1988). They play dress-up to dispose of Tito, who’s been sent into sub-freezing weather to temper his horniness, before meandering into the control room in furs.

We’ve got no sympathy, though – science crews this unobservant deserve to be obliterated by rudimentary flash effects.

We must, however, question the logic of the Cybers’ grand plan.

They leave it somewhat late to find a new planet. Theirs collapses only about an hour after they arrive at the South Pole. Bruce Willis and co were given longer than that in Armageddon.

It means the whole drama is resolved by the Doctor and team simply sitting it out until Mondas disintegrates. It's a tactic that Thomas Tuchel famously nicks for England’s semi-final against Argentina.

2. The Regeneration (Or a simple matter of a body wearing a little thin)

For all the seismic precedent-setting of this serial’s closing moments, it’s a shame the first regeneration is all a bit, well, ham-fisted.

When our beloved Doctor collapses at the start of Part Three, it’s totally out of the blue.

Seeded, this farewell ain’t. If becoming grumpy is a warning sign we’re supposed to have spotted, he must have been on the downhill since Reign of Terror.

Then he’s animated for the final episode, meaning the last words Hartnell utters in the flesh are near the end of Part Two when he warns Shouty American, “I think you rather underestimate the Cybermen, General.” Prescient to the last.

Doc One doesn’t get a farewell scene with his companions either, not by today’s standards. He has a befuddling conversation with Ben and Polly and hot-foots it back to the TARDIS for a rest off-camera.

However, the regeneration itself is a beautifully realised effect. We say in our Caves review that less is more – and it’s never been truer than here.

If anything, it’s too smooth. It could do with ramming home a little more bluntly that he’s changed appearance. Patrick sitting up ala Colin B would help sell the switcheroo no end.

Right, we’re losing our sense of humour and feeling in need of a gentle lie-down on the floor, so here are Tenth more cursory observations:

We once narrowly escaped a brawl in The Tenth Planet in Plymouth
Is this the first base under siege tale? Perhaps this is Hartnell’s greatest gift to Pat
Impossible is not in General Cutler’s vocabulary
Nor is consultation, apparently. He should’ve asked Chandler Bing how to pronounce ‘Cybermen’. Chandler would tell him it’s not a surname (“It’s not Phil Spiderman”)
Ben goes all Connery in Dr No with his air-vent escape into the rocket silo
In fact, this one’s all about Ben, who ultimately saves the day
Presuming models of nukes are named alphabetically, is the z-bomb 26 times more powerful than the a-bomb?
When they get ambushed in the snow, one Cyberman clearly trots away in a distinctly zippy, non-robotic way
We’re miffed that The Tenth Planet brought us so close to a tremendous observation about the ten stories with Planet in the title. Except there are nine (count ‘em: Evil, Mysterious, Pirate, Web, Daleks, Fire, Giants, Spiders and this one)
This is the end. Hold your breath and count to ten(th).

As IMPORTANT as this story may be, it’s a downright tragedy The Tenth Planet isn’t a stronger finale for Hartnell – because he deserves better than to limp out in a middling entry.

Especially when some of his successors enjoy stellar swansongs (with apologies to those notable exceptions, Colin and Sylv).

Goodbye Bill. And thank you. We’ll miss you, you cranky so and so. And don’t worry, we’ll never consider Hurndell canon.

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